Co-sleeping is a topic that has sparked considerable debate among parents, pediatrician and researcher. Supporters tout its benefits, such as better sleep for parents and babies. However, concerns about the risk of SIDS and other safety issues have led others to warn against it.
In this post, we'll look at current safety guidelines and offer helpful tips for parents considering co-sleeping. Plus, I'll share what I did with my kids when they were babies!
What is co-sleeping?
Co-sleeping is when parents share a sleeping space with a baby or toddler – usually up to the first year of life. Many parents decide to share a room even longer.
Some define co-sleeping as holding the child, while others define it as parents and baby sleeping in the same room. When sharing a room, the baby can sleep next to the parent's bed or in a cot or crib across the room. Room sharing is quite well accepted – at least for the first six months of life.
However, bed sharing is more controversial. Bed sharing is just what it sounds like – sleeping with the baby in the same bed. It's more common than you might think. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) conducted a survey of caregivers in 2015.
Over half of the caregivers surveyed (61%) reported bed-sharing at least a few times.
The benefits of co-sleeping
Co-sleeping with a baby can have physical and emotional benefits for both parents and baby:
Enhanced connection
Co-sleeping can improve the bond between parents and baby. Proximity increases opportunities for interaction, such as caring and comforting. Sleeping next to parents at night can also provide a sense of security for the child. This sense of security can lead to better emotional development and reduced separation anxiety.
Promotes breastfeeding
Co-sleeping makes nighttime breastfeeding more convenient. It may force mothers to decide to breastfeed for longer (6+ months) because it is easier to maintain it night after night.
A 1997 study even found that babies who shared a bed breastfed more often and for longer. They had more breastfeeding episodes and spent three times as much time at night compared to those who slept separately.
Decreased risk of SIDS
A side benefit is that breastfeeding can reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). A German study found that formula-fed babies not only had an increased risk of SIDS, but they had DOUBLE the risk compared to breastfed babies.
Co-sleeping with parents can also reduce the risk of SIDS. Close sleeping helps regulate the baby's breathing and body temperature. Healthy breathing patterns can also reduce the risk of SIDS.
Benefits of bite development
More appropriate breastfeeding can have even wider benefits. A 2022 study found that co-sleeping as infants benefited their biting development as toddlers.
Children who co-slept as infants were less likely to use a pacifier or thumb-suck. As a result, they were not as likely develop an overbite, cross bite or open bite. They ended up having better facial development due to co-sleeping.
The best sleep for parents
Having your baby close can make nighttime caregiving tasks like feeding and comforting easier and faster. As a result, parents may be more likely to get restful sleep.
Is co-sleeping safe?
New parents may wonder if bed sharing is safe. Bed sharing is actually the biological norm and has been common throughout history. Western societies have just moved away from it for the sake of convenience. It can be safe as long as parents follow certain practices.
One of these practices is breastfeeding. Breastfed babies have a symbiotic relationship with their mothers and can safely share a bed. However, formula-fed babies are safer in a side bedroom or in a crib next to their mother.
Dr. James McKenna is the Director of the Mother-Infant Sleep Lab at the University of Notre Dame and is widely considered a leading expert on co-sleeping. He explains that there are several reasons why co-sleeping with breastfed babies and bottle feeding are not the same:
“Breastfeeding changes where and how the baby is placed next to the mother, for example, and the baby's arousal patterns, how sensitive the baby and mother are to each other's movements, sounds and proximity, and to the movements of the baby and the mother. sleep architecture (how much time each spends in different sleep stages and how and when they transition from one sleep stage to another) are very different between bottle-feeding and breastfeeding mother-infant pairs.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) still advises against bed sharing in their updated 2022 guidelines. They warned that it increases the risk of SIDS. But SIDS is more of a concern when co-sleeping with premature and low-birth-weight babies. Healthy, full-term infants are not at such risk as long as parents follow safe sleep practices.
Dr. McKenna also went over the research that supposedly links SIDS to co-sleeping. He says interpretations of co-sleeping and SIDS study results have many inaccuracies and inconsistencies.
There are always examples of people not following safe bed sharing practices. However, this does not mean that no one should do it. And it's important to note that suffocation from unsafe sleep is not SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), although the two often go together.
Safe co-sleeping practices
Here are some safe bed sharing practices. Keep in mind that these apply to both daytime and nighttime naps:
- Breastfed babies may be safer sleeping next to their mothers (rather than fathers)
- Babies under one year old should not sleep with older children
- Babies should be placed in one hard sleeping surface (no waterbed or couch)
- Make sure the bed and footboard have no openings where the child can get trapped at night. The mattress should fit tightly to the head of the head to ensure safe sleep of the baby.
- Sheepskins are not a good idea; nor blankets, quilts or weighted pillows. They can increase the risk of overheating and suffocation. Top with lightweight baby blankets.
- A well-equipped sleeping bag can help to give the child a separate bed to avoid suffocation
- Remove anything that could be a choking hazard, such as jewelry, pacifier clips, and teething necklaces
- Some parents choose to use a bin by the bedholding the sleeping baby close by giving them their space.
The Lullaby Trust from the UK has also produced a guide to safe mattresses and co-sleeping options. They emphasize using a firm, flat mattress and avoiding soft or heavy bedding.
What about teaching independence?
Some parents may worry that their child will never leave their bed. However, many of the ideas from baby sleep training apply here. A good way to start is by gradually transitioning your baby into his own sleeping space. Start with a few minutes in the crib or bassinet. Then gradually increase the sleep time on your own.
Be responsive to your baby's needs during the time of transition. Comfort them if they are upset, but encourage them to settle down to sleep in their sleeping space. A favorite blanket or stuffed animal can help them calm down and fall back asleep if they wake up during the night.
Another concern is that co-sleeping as babies would make children less independent as they grow older. The good news is that research has found be quite the opposite. Early co-sleepers were more self-reliant and independent as preschoolers than children who did not co-sleep as infants.
Co-sleeping and bed-sharing are common practices around the world. These are not new concepts. You might be surprised how many world leaders throughout history shared a bed with their mothers when they were babies.
It's not all or nothing
It's important to remember that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Once the baby is sleeping through the night, it may be time to gradually work towards moving the baby into his or her own room. Parents can use co-sleeping as part of baby-led sleep training.
There may also be times when it is not ideal for a child to sleep in an adult's bed. For example, if a parent has a respiratory illness or the flu, it may be best to let the baby sleep alone in a crib or bassinet. A night when one or both parents have been drinking is another time to sleep separately.
Many parents are simply not comfortable sharing a bed. That's totally fine! Parents who are heavy sleepers, taking certain medications, dealing with an illness, etc., may not want a child in bed with them. Whatever the case, there is no judgment here. Room sharing is still a great option.
What I Do/Did
When my children were babies, I shared a bed with them for the first few months. I was used to the baby being around in the womb, so it was a natural transition for them to sleep next to me in bed. As the baby started to move around more, I also started to feel more comfortable with them sleeping on their own.
Of course, sleeping arrangements will depend on each individual child and family. Do what works best for you.
What do you think about co-sleeping? Have you practiced bed sharing or room sharing with your little ones? Share with us below!
